THE (UN)EXPECTED DEPARTURE

 THE (UN)EXPECTED DEPARTURE

Nothing was really there in mind, once I heard the news that I got this job. It was quite a normal day of my life. Amidst the chaos of the hostel, I was sitting there with my phone, scrolling down for good series to watch, to feed my eternal quest for something good. It came to me from a four hour distant place. While skimming through the mail, it caught my attention. I cant explain the feeling, or else I don't really know how to interpret it. One thing was sure, I have never thought it would be real. I have never thought of giving a Good bye to my academics. In fact I was not ready to do that. But, by the course of the time, I learned the art of bidding goodbye. Probably with a heavy heart, thousands of emotions dancing in my mind, somewhere between the small, immature girl and a grown self of mine, I used to place these emotions. I was not always ready to accept the departures. But this time it happened unexpectedly. Though I knew that it is almost nearing the end and I have to leave the fancy things I found there.  To be frank, I was chill till the last moment. I thought I would cry, while some of my girls left. Fortunately or unfortunately, I was not there. When they left. I am not sad cause i couldn't witness it. But when it was my turn, I realized, or was conscious for a while, that I am gonna leave the place, which was literally a home for me, for the past two years. Which witnessed the highs and lows, the happiness and the heart breaks. It was that people, who made me feel it intense, the pain of departure. I know I cant cry loudly. I am grown up. The society or sometimes it's me who's expecting myself to be matured emotionally. Out the sudden feel of loss, or emotion, I too bid goodbye. To the place I lived, I starved, I overjoyed, I cried, I spoke my heart out, I thought of the worst place in the whole world. I realized how things have changed for me. Two years made an impactful lesson for me. Slowly, steadily, I too learned the act of being a mature being. 

On my way back, it was a roller coaster of emotions, I was stuck with a half teary eyes and a bleeding heart. The matter of amaze was nothing but the very next day I felt everything normal. I became a fast learner, with a very fast moving mind. In fraction of seconds the heart broken lady became something else at home. Leading a pretty normal around another corner of the earth. Sometimes I feel, I am too mature, to handle my emotions, sometime a lil girl who would like to spend her days, the dark days lying in the lap of her mother. GOD, we can't trust people, when they are too easily moving on. Am i really living? or maybe pretending? 

One thing I am sure about was, I am not that much moved on, rather I still keep the little wounds which made me feel uncomfortable, broken, maybe betrayed so ruthlessly. May be I am living in the past, still processing with the older emotions, trying to get a hang on the stuffs, I am new with, to  develop an idea to deal with the rest of my life.